It's crowd time again in America. Our biggest shopping period is fast approaching; we're also in the middle of football season, and New Year celebrations are nearly around the corner. To say nothing of increased traffic as we drive from place to place.

What should be a joyful time will be just the opposite for some people; with end-of-the-year layoffs, people might be losing their jobs or having their hours cut back; perhaps a foreclosure is looming, funds for satisfying children's desires may be limited, and bills will be coming in.

So, as each of the celebratory events includes large crowds and heavy traffic, they converge with some frustrated, angry, alienated, desperate feeling individuals -- the perfect scenarios for shooters, seeing no other option than to use guns to vent their feelings as they end their lives. People may also increasingly resort to impulsive shootings in order to resolve differences. It's time go into Rehab, in order to get us back to a more peaceful society.

Unfortunately, we have no rehabilitation center qualified and able to accommodate the hugely significant number of Americans who should enter; therefore, putting ourselves in 'rehab' will help us to return our culture to some of the supportive communal qualities we used to enjoy before technology, violence and extremism became such enormous influences on us; we need to reduce alienation and improve our communication skills in order to relearn how to resolve issues non-violently.

Here in America, according to Ann Hornaday, film critic of the Washington Post, the number of violent films given the PG-13 rating has tripled. As children are inundated with movies, video games and other sources of violent behavior, parents and other mentors need to balance the emphasis on violence with conversations to put it in perspective. We need to teach them critical thinking and non-violent conflict resolution skills, says Hornaday on CNN's Reliable Sources (Nov. 17).

We have created a culture of extremism, based on winning (in which case, someone must lose); we tend to see issues as black or white, right or wrong, good or bad -- without shades of gray. We attack rather than listen. Most issues, however, have components on which both sides can agree, and when we're open to searching for them, we can begin to convert the extreme beliefs to manageable ones for everyone. Also, when people are feeling desperate, we can help them to find solutions. Thus, all sides win.

We can't depend on the Government to fix our cultural problems; no legislation can guarantee our safety from guns and other forms of violence, but you and I can go a long way toward alleviating some of the stress, as we realize that some forms of mental illness are probably situational, resulting from feelings of alienation and desperation.

Extremism, coupled with our dependence on technology, has contributed to a society of individuals, who may begin to feel alienated -- alone, left out. When we are not socially available to them, we may be generating feelings of isolation in our family members and friends who, instead of turning to us to communicate life difficulties, may turn to social media, conferring with strangers. It's a perfect setup for trouble.

Do you remember the hugely popular film, Avatar? The universal greeting for the creatures was, "I see you." How many of us actually see each other? Do we look into people's eyes to see what might be behind their "I'm fine" when you meet them? Do we actually listen to their viewpoints, opposite from ours perhaps, or do we just wait for their statements to end so that we can counter them, trying to win the disagreement?

Feeling alienated has led to a number of shootings, according to psychologists. Desperation, loneliness and helplessness are all feelings that, at least some, shooters have experienced. Before people reach the level of wanting to end it all and take some others out with them, perhaps they need to know that we see them. Together, we can find solutions.
When we turn off our technologic devices, we can turn our attention to the people around us. As we engage them, we begin to restore their feelings of acceptance, inclusion.

Most of us can't solve the employment-related financial problems and insecurities some people will experience, but we can ease them somewhat by reducing the perception that money can buy inclusion, validation. When we reach out to our neighbors and friends, letting them know we have time for them, we show them we can see them, and hear them. We can also realize and convey that buying expensive gifts isn't necessary; rather, experiences we share are much more meaningful than giving material gifts because then we are giving the best we have - our time and attention.

Food is a universal connector, around which revolve celebrations, milestone markings, sorrow, and just ordinary events - the cycles of life. We can reach out to our neighbors, connecting, with dinners and other social activities, as we do in my neighborhood. We recently enjoyed a luncheon to welcome two Syrian ladies who recently moved here to live with their brother (and began volunteer work in the community a month after arriving). Through our gathering and their charitable activities, we hope they have begun to feel a sense of place here.

This month our neighbors will hold a pre-Thanksgiving dinner in which everyone will bring a dish reflective of our ethnic heritage. It will be good to remember the strengths, sacrifices and determination of those gone before, and those newly arrived, that have enabled so many of us to live as freely as we do.

Before we get to the stage of uncontrolled rage, and when we see others building up their anger, what can we do to relieve the pressure? Infuriating, unfair, and unjust things will happen to us and to people we love. Is it road rage that gets us? Or getting fired 'unjustly', a disagreement, betrayal or what? How do we deal with these things without going off the deep end? Improved communication skills can help to see us through such bad times.

Of course, we have to use common sense, as well. For example, with comparatively small incidents such as someone on the road cutting in front of us, we can leave more distance between the car in front and ours. We reduce stress by not tailgating, and by treating other drivers as we would like to be treated.

Anger management training, perhaps accompanied by meditation can be a good beginning. And we can develop a variety of verbal and non-verbal skills, such as active listening, to let others know we get them, whether we agree or not.

We can develop conflict resolution and negotiation skills, and guide others in them. Including these latter skills in the toolkit for effective communication can, in many cases, be the formula for neutralizing potentially violent situations.

Changing our society won't happen overnight, but it's well worth the effort, time and perseverance to shift to a culture in which we really include each other, and express ourselves nonviolently. This is what I mean by putting ourselves in Rehab.

The gift we will give ourselves from the results of our efforts will be an increased feeling of safety as we move among crowds, and a more solid, cohesive society in which we can realize and acknowledge that all is not black-and-white, right-or-wrong, hopeless or not. We will see the common ground of all sides, and experience more of a feeling of community as we work together to resolve issues and move our society ahead to a more healthier, more acceptable level.



09/09/2014 1:50am

Loansdirect is initiated by group of experienced persons and started its operations in Chennai. The team was engaged in the financial services from the past 15 years and operated DSAs/DMAs for many banks. During the tenure, the team found gaps between prospective customer and bank services, which made to think further to provide qualitative & appropriate services to our valuable customer.

12/09/2014 12:34am

I always want to be with her,.

12/15/2014 6:09am

thanks for providing this information..keep sharing more information

01/04/2015 12:31pm

Thanks for the information and facts and details. You offered meals for believed. Thanks for sharing the info. Every single on the most useful to you.

03/24/2015 2:14am

For download movies and series with Blue Ray 1080p, Blue Ray 720 print. Download latest online movies series and your favorite movies with single click.

04/02/2015 8:29am

Online shopping across various categories products with Buying Regroupment . you get many offers on many products, and Deal of the day etc.The delivery address cannot be changed after confirmation of the order

04/03/2015 8:14am

Wow! Lei veramente mi ha colpito da questo post del tuo. E cosa c'è di molto più lodevole sarà l'autenticità delle material.Thanks contenuto per la tosatura dei dati.

07/07/2015 1:18am

We are Provide Best Services in Amsterdam. If you want know about our servces that you can visit our website


Online Internet Reputation Management, Fix Online Reputation , Protect online reputation, Internet Reputation


Technical education is very important to the future careers. This education consists of practical work and workshops and surveys by which students can understand everything in true meaning. This understanding increase the confidence of student.

03/19/2016 5:48am

Join Nethouseplans today and enjoy the benefits of discounted house plans and much more. Browse through our collection of floor plans, home designs and architectural floor plans to find your dream home. Visit our website today to find out more

05/22/2016 9:38am

I discovered a very excellent composition from Right now We don’t understand basically occurred in order to property about the just great composition if the authors right here may create something similar to which, We sooo want to ask them to perform my own. What's your own consider on this website?

06/19/2016 3:40pm

All kind of stuff related with entertainment and fun is available here. The videos on this are also advanced.

12/20/2016 7:01am

01/10/2017 12:17am

Landmark Pallavaa is a pleasant Beach Resort in ECR road with the facility of deluxe rooms,beach view suites,special suites and budget rooms with world class amenities and facilities.

04/29/2017 3:24am

Exactly these sentences are right. I feel, It's time to put our society into rehab. Otherwise we will face lot of unexpected things in future.

05/15/2017 7:19pm

Whatever you wrote here, it's always good to read. Like it so much!

06/19/2017 7:51pm

That will tell us how to react properly. Great idea!

09/05/2017 3:36am

Very interesting. I need guidance to get the new science right.

09/08/2017 8:26am

The right foundation to gather each one of the informatioin needed for typically the rehab often is the Web-based taylorrecovery. There is also a great number of advice over the web. Site have the ability read the a number of portions of typically the alcoholic rehab in your ınternet sites Faqs spot not to mention On the subject of YOU AND ME spot.

09/08/2017 8:57pm

Very attractive, interesting article. Congratulations and success, informative I love it.

09/13/2017 4:23am

Many thanks for You. Good web and SEO services, please visit this address for more information.

09/15/2017 9:49am

Very good lesson. It gives inspiration to keep learning.

09/20/2017 10:18pm

You can choose a course that suits your basic English, here.

09/21/2017 9:24am

The Discovery House luxury drug and alcohol treatment center. Located in Southern California. For Immediate Help Call Us 888.387.1467. We also welcome individuals from across the country.

09/27/2017 1:12pm

Feed Kacer Birds. The main food of these birds are insects, but sometimes they prey on worms and sometimes also eat fruits, there are even Kacer who also consume honey. Kacer is maintained in addition to Extra Fooding such as crickets, caterpillars, kroto (ant eggs) and grasshoppers.ur.

10/18/2017 6:09am

Many travel agencies incorporate this island into vacation trip packages. Pulau seribu is a group of beauty island that is not found elsewhere. On this island there are already inns that are usually included in the holiday package.

10/24/2017 12:39am

For long-term leases such as monthly and yearly rentals, we also provide special rates that will help your mobility needs. We are car rental companies in Bali

10/28/2017 12:49pm

House plans generally stick to one story level because this is the perfect architecture when you want to have as wide an area as possible around the structure, columns or interior arches, and large breezy windows. Mediterranean house plans are generally built in lower lower regions

10/31/2017 11:54am

The cost of buying a property like a house has gone up in a frenzy unlike in previous years. Presumably having a home for a newly married couple is a dream that is quite difficult to achieve. But it is not impossible.

11/03/2017 1:50am

In the event that a trademark is approved for registration, the DJKI shall be obligated to issue a Mark Registration Certificate within 15 (fifteen) days from the date of the Trademark Registration.

11/04/2017 12:39pm

A tip in building a residence or doing an affordable home remodeling, of course must be done very mature planning. This is necessary in order to minimize a risk of budget swelling.

11/07/2017 11:42am

We make sure they will not mark up the price for personal use as long as your company uses the car rental service from our service. Even many of our tenants are very familiar with our drivers like friends because we always put forward friendly service.

11/08/2017 9:59am

11/09/2017 12:27pm

The Sun mentions that PSG has contacted the manager's agent and has also expressed a desire, so that United's coach can leave to Paris.

11/10/2017 7:46pm

If you're not sure where to start, professional interior architects might be able to help you to make your Interior Design a charming and more modern look.

11/14/2017 5:29pm

It will determine the beauty of the house you choose. The exterior of the house also should not escape your attention. Tricks create a small park at minimalist home.

11/22/2017 2:09pm

We will list your business in the largest local business directory in Indonesia!, We help Google to communicate with your website and manage many aspects of how Google sees your website.

11/24/2017 12:39pm

For the general public may still not really understand what SEO is, or already know but not yet know what the actual advantages and reasons many businesses in cyberspace use it.

11/26/2017 5:15am

The goal of SEO is to place a website at the top position, a series of systematic processes aimed at increasing the volume and quality of traffic through search engines to specific websites.

11/26/2017 12:08pm


Leave a Reply